We all make mistakes, but how we respond to them is what truly defines us. As a Hogan-assessments certified coach, I’ve spent a lot of time understanding how personality traits shape behavior—especially under stress. Yet, no amount of theory can prepare you for that sinking feeling when you realize you’ve messed up.
The Moment of Realization Recently, I missed a critical client meeting. The realization hit me hard, and for a moment, my thoughts spiraled:
- How could this happen?
- What will they think of me?
- Am I about to lose the client?
The Inner Conflict My first instinct? Blame myself. I even thought about coming up with an excuse—something, anything, to deflect the situation. But then I stopped. That’s not me, and I knew it. So, I took a deep breath, sent an apology, admitted my mistake, and proposed a reschedule.
Was it easy? Not at all. Owning up felt uncomfortable and left me feeling exposed. But here’s the thing: I’ve learned that authenticity matters way more than perfection.
The Role of Awareness Thanks to Hogan, I understand how my personality influences my reactions. Being high on skepticism and dutifulness, I tend to overthink and self-blame. Without this awareness, I might have spiraled into negativity, wasting hours questioning my worth. Instead, I focused on learning from the situation.
This experience also reminded me of a powerful moment during a client debrief. Midway through our session, they exclaimed, “Wow, this is so me!” They had just discovered how their high scores on Aesthetics and Power in the MVPI shaped their preference for high-visibility roles and environments that foster creativity. However, this also made them unconsciously biased toward people with polished presentations, often overlooking the brilliance of less “formatted” ideas.
Similarly, another leader reflected on their personality profile: high “Reserved” on the HDS and low “Sociability” on the HPI. These traits made them naturally inclined to limit interactions and work alone, especially under stress. While this coping mechanism might seem harmless, as a leader, it had created the perception of them being “absent.” They believed they were always available for their team—but their detachment under pressure sent a very different message.
What I Learned These stories reinforced what I had learned from my own mistake: self-awareness is transformative. Here’s what I took away:
- Plan Better: A missed schedule check in the morning caused my mix-up. Small habits, like reviewing my calendar, can prevent such oversights.
- Be Kinder to yourself: Mistakes are part of being human. Beating myself up won’t fix them.
- Adapt to your Realities: As an independent professional, I don’t have colleagues reminding me of meetings. A structured scheduler might be the support I need.
- Take Conscious Action: For leaders like my clients, awareness isn’t enough. They must actively counteract their natural tendencies—for example, intentionally connecting with their teams even when it feels unnatural.
Moving Forward Here’s the truth: awareness is only the first step. What you do with it is what really matters.
By understanding my personality, I’ve learned to approach mistakes with honesty and focus on solutions instead of spiraling. And watching my clients transform their leadership styles has shown me just how powerful self-awareness can be.
Even as a coach, I’m constantly reminded that there’s always room to learn, adapt, and do better.
